“Everybody thinks of changing the world, and nobody thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
Beginning this blog post with a quote about personal change, written by a Russian may seem to be a strange way of writing about estate planning and St. Patrick’s Day so please be patient, I’ll do my best to bring it full circle.
A couple of years ago, we had the opportunity to visit Ireland. You can bet your buttons that we learned all about St. Patrick’s return to Ireland and how he not only fixed the church but also performed the miracle of removing all of the snakes. His life really is an inspirational story. It felt to me like a part of heaven as we drove around the countryside. It is breathtaking! And there is so much history, so much heritage and culture. We loved going to Leo Burdock’s Fish & Chips in Kildare. (That’s where the band U-2 used to eat after their rehearsals). We went and kissed the Blarney Stone for good luck and visited the famous library at Trinity College where the 1300 year old Books of Kells are housed. But with all these historic and inspirational places, one of the places that really caused me to pause and consider my own existence were some words of wisdom in a cemetery written on a tombstone. I was told they were originally written on a tomb in Westminster Abbey, in London. Either way, there were some pretty smart people who lived more than 1000 years ago. Here is what was written:
“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have then been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.”
Why am I sharing these pearls of wisdom with you, when I really want to encourage you to take some time and do a little estate planning, take care of your final expenses and remove these burdens from your family and loved ones? According to social worker Mark Homan, once an unacceptable situation has been identified, there are four basic responses from which to choose. (Once you realize you don’t have a proper plan for the end of your life decisions, there are four basic responses):
● One option is to change our perception by identifying the situation as acceptable. (In other words, simply decide it is okay to let others plan and pay for your own funeral and final expenses).
● Or, we can recognize the situation as unacceptable and then decide to adjust ourselves to it. (We’ve had people say things like: “Just bury me in a pine box” or “Just take me out to sea and throw me off the boat.”
● A third option is to leave the situation, either by physically leaving or emotionally withdrawing. (When we die, we leave physically, but when it comes to making decisions regarding our estate and final expense plans, the vast majority of people leave emotionally. They just don’t want to deal with it).
● Finally, we can identify an unacceptable situation as unacceptable and then we do what we can do to change it.
Have a happy St. Patrick’s Day! Wear something green to remind you of Ireland. Eat corned beef with potatoes and cabbage and have something fun to drink. But, while you are busy having some fun, take a few minutes and decide a thing or two you’d like to change in your life and do it.
If you are like the many who just keep kicking the can down the road regarding their final expenses, and perhaps hoping a leprechaun will come along and take care of everything for you, make the decision now to take care of business. Give us a call for ideas. You’ll feel really good inside that you’ve taken this important step. When your life finally does come to an end, your family and friends will appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness in making things easier for them. Just like St. Patrick, in the years to come when your loved ones think about you, give them something to celebrate!